"The idiots and bunglers
Believe the rumours on the tumblrs.
They promise us screen inches
And gestures beyond pinches;
But all they deliver
Is drinking-game-damaged livers"
Prepare a good drink. Look at iPhone rumour sites. Any time you see a rumour about screen size, pens, 3D gestures or anything that adds complexity: drink!
Add extra verses; I'll include good ones with the right scansion