Broken banking, #2 in a continuing series

On the Monday morning of Mobile World Congress I was even less awake than usual and I didn't take my credit card back out of the ticket machine, so I phoned to cancel the card. You don't have a credit card, said the unhelpful man; it has a Visa symbol on it and I use it with my business bank account, he said. Oh yes, he said, I've cancelled it and ordered a new one. Except what arrived today was the cash card for my personal savings account. I braved the slightly improved voice jail system and asked Abbey consumer if they could tell me if this new card was a re-issue or just a regular renewal. It's your cash card, they said; we don't know anything else. I phoned Abbey business and they had no record of a cancellation; because Abbey shares a lost and stolen number for both types of account, they had cancelled the wrong one. At this point it becomes one of those good news, bad news jokes:
the good news is the ticket machine ate my card and nobody used it
the bad news is I won't get the new card for ten days and I'll be in the US
the good news is I have a US account to take money out of
the bad news is that Abbey is idiotic enough to link the card so firmly to the online banking system that when they cancel a card, they lock you out of Internet banking until the new one is issued, two days later. So the helpful lady on the phone has written down on a PostIt note that on Wednesday she should remember to unlock my account for me.

To quote tanais when I told him about it, 'I'm not sure some companies should be allowed the internets'. Any recommendations for fee-free business banking that's not this bad?